


Sleep Well Love

by messedupstargazer



Series: Dating Your Arch-Nemesis [5]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Communication, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hot Chocolate, Hurt Barry, Hurt Leonard Snart, Len Needs a Hug, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 09:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10487685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedupstargazer/pseuds/messedupstargazer
Summary: “Forgive me, babe, if I'm not just going to sit in the other room while I hear the other half of my heart crying.”  Barry said simply.“Please don’t say things like that.”  Len said, his heart aching.“You want me to lie to you?”  Barry asked.Len shook his head.  “Just… be careful with your words.”





	

_“Len!” Barry shouted, fear laced in his voice. Len turned and saw Barry, in his Flash costume with the mask up. Len wanted to run to him but he couldn’t move. He looked down and saw ice from his own gun creeping up his body. He wanted to shout to him, tell him to run, but the ice spread to his mouth and all he could do was watch. The gun raised itself through the ice around Len's arms and fired. He couldn’t stop it._

“Len, wake up!” A familiar voice shouted. “It’s okay.”

_Barry pulled off his mask, and Len got a perfect view of his stunning green eyes filled with unimaginable pain. In slow motion, Barry took the shot to the chest, with his face marred with pain and a hint of betrayal._

_“Len.” Barry cried, choking on his own breath, looking Len straight in the eye._

_Len watched in horror as Barry just dropped. His green eyes wide open, his mouth slightly parted, his chest still and bloody. Len wanted to scream, wanted to run, to save him, but the ice encircled him again, making him feel colder than he’d ever felt before. Barry wasn’t moving, his eyes were staring at anything, and Len felt like his own heart had stopped. He was sorry, he was so sorry. He never meant for Barry to get hurt. He couldn’t control it._

_“Forgive me, Barry, please forgive me.” Len thought, unable to speak through the ice._

“Wake up!” Barry shouted. “Len, I'm right here, I'm fine, wake up!”

_Len didn’t understand. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, could tear his gaze away from Barry dying, dying, dying in front of him…_

“Len wake up!”

A scream woke him. Barry's arms were on his hips, fear in his wonderful green eyes, words falling from his lips. It took Len about half a second to realize his surroundings, and that the scream had come from _him_.

“Are you okay?” Barry whispered, his voice barely audible.

“I'm fine, Scarlet.” Len panted. “Go back to sleep.”

“It sounded like a bad one.” Barry tried, still having not let go. Len almost made a move to make him, but with his heart still pounding he couldn’t bring himself to lose Barry's touch.

“I'm fine.” Len repeated.

“You don’t have to hide around me, you know.” Barry said.

“Hypocrite.” Len snapped.

“And you haven't told me to let go yet.” Barry said, ignoring Len. “Please, Len, I'm right here for you.”

Len made the mistake of looking at Barry's face. Innocent belief mingled with strong determination made Barry's lush lips purse together, his striking green eyes shone with fear, and his creamy skin creased with worry.

“Let go.” Len enunciated, forcing himself to say it.

Barry did so, but he didn’t move from his place beside Len.

“I'm going to sit in the kitchen.” Len said, trying to get a hold of his emotions. “Please don’t follow me.”

Barry didn’t answer him. Len stood and walked to the kitchen, and sat down hard in one of the chairs. He put his head in his hands and felt a few tears slip through. Len hated when Barry looked so worried about him. One of these days Len was going to get Barry killed and it would all be Len's fault. He’d already gone after him as Captain Cold. If Len had miscalculated or Barry made an unexpected move, it all would've been over. Just because he had to keep up his adrenaline fix. Because he wasn’t willing to look for a way out of his life on the dark side. Len almost snorted when he thought that. Clearly, Barry was a bad influence on his thought process. Barry had increased his nerdiness tenfold.

A blanket dropped around his shoulders. Len snapped his head up and saw Barry making hot chocolate.

“I thought I told you not to follow me.” Len croaked, his voice hoarser than he thought it would be, but still wrapping the blanket around his shoulders.

“Forgive me, babe, if I'm not just going to sit in the other room while I hear the other half of my heart crying.” Barry said simply.

“Please don’t say things like that.” Len said, his heart aching.

“You want me to lie to you?” Barry asked.

Len shook his head. “Just… be careful with your words.”

“What happened in your dream, if I may ask?” Barry asked, getting the little marshmallows.

“You may not.” Len said. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Barry sighed and set the hot chocolate down on the table. “I made yours with as many marshmallows as I could fit.”

“Thanks, Barry.” Len said.

“What, no pet name?” Barry said, noticing almost immediately. “You always call me by a pet name. I haven't heard my real name from you in forever. Has something happened?”

“No.” Len replied. “Nothing like that.”

“Then please, let me in.” Barry said. “You can't keep everything inside. If you can't talk to me, promise you'll talk to someone.”

Len glared at Barry. “Don’t use my own words against me.”

“Are they yours?” Barry frowned.

“I said them a few months ago.” Len said dryly. “Eidetic memory, remember?”

“Ah, right, right, the night of the apartment fire.” Barry nodded. “I remember that.”

“Well at least too many hits haven't scrambled your brain.” Len muttered.

“I got hit, didn’t I?” Barry asked quietly.

“I think you would know if you did.” Len said, deflecting.

“In your dream.” Barry said. “You were shouting in your sleep, saying my name, begging for forgiveness.”

Len turned away, his cheeks burning. He didn’t want to drag Barry into this more than he already was.

“Oh come on. Leonard Snart.” Barry snapped.

Len turned sharply. Barry never used his full name.

“You once said that the whole point of being someone’s partner is to be there for them. Good, bad, and all the stuff in between. When you said you loved me, you said you meant that you wanted to be there for me, no matter what. And I feel the same way. I want to be there for you no matter what. Please let me.”

“This isn't what I meant.” Len tried.

“So when you comforted me from a nightmare, and helped me open up because you made a rather nice speech about loving me, now that you're going through the exact same thing, you're saying that’s not what you meant.” Barry said dryly.

“That was Flash stuff.” Len said. “This isn't.”

“Is it Captain Cold stuff?” Barry countered.

“Not really.” Len omitted a little truth.

“Dammit, Len, why are you acting like such a hypocrite?” Barry snapped. “I constantly open up to you, about pretty much everything, and we've been doing well lately, but now you won't open up to me. Is our relationship really that one-sided?”

“No, it’s just really not your problem.” Len said, his heart hurting.

“And when I say that, you prod and push until I open up.” Barry retorted. “I love you and I want to be here for you.”

“Yeah well, maybe you shouldn’t.” Len snapped. “Maybe one of these days I'm going to hurt you just as much as every one of your friends said I would and you'll be broken-hearted, or worse.”

Barry didn’t say anything for a little bit. His expression was carefully neutral. Len's heart felt like a twenty-pound weight just started crushing it.

“You don’t get to push me away that easy, Len.” Barry finally said after a while. “I get that you're scared and you're lashing out because you don’t want whatever it is that’s bothering you to hurt me and obviously you think breaking up with me would be a nicer option, so I'm assuming it’s death.”

Len nodded.

“I thought so.” Barry murmured. “Do you really think I'd let you kill me?”

“If I had missed, or miscalculated, or done something wrong, I would've.” Len snapped. “Just because I couldn’t tell you or give up heists.”

“Len, give me some credit, I'm a goddamned superhero.” Barry groaned. “I always win the battles we’ve fought. Not some of them, all of them. And the only reason you're not in prison is because you're very good at escaping after you've been arrested, which I am very glad for. I don’t want my partner in jail, even if he is a criminal.”

Len snorted. “Oh forgive me, your royal superhero-ness.”

“And don’t you forget it.” Barry countered. “Len, I love you. If something is bothering you, it becomes my business because I want to help you with that burden. But you have to be honest about it, so you can move on.”

“I killed you.” Len said, his voice as hollow as his words.

Barry frowned.

“I couldn’t stop it.” Len's voice cracked. “All I could do was watch. My cold gun fired and it hit you in the chest, and you died. You looked at me, and you knew. You knew it was me who killed you and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t want to because you were on the floor, bloody and dying, and I never once thought about living without you. I couldn’t. I can't.”

Barry grabbed Len's hand and pulled him up. He guided Len to the couch and sat down. The kitchen chairs didn’t allow for what Barry was doing, adjusting Len to where he was in Barry's arms instead of the other way around. This didn’t happen much, Len wasn’t one much for being cuddled, but Barry made it work to be the big spoon.

“I can't live without you either, you know.” Barry whispered. “You're not in this alone.”

“I know.” Len said, then snorted. “How did we end up like this?”

“You stole my heart by rescuing a kite.” Barry replied easily.

“If only breaking into banks were that easy.” Len muttered.

Barry laughed lightly at that. “Then you would have a very different reputation.”

Len smirked.

“But I'm glad we ended up like this.” Barry continued. “I can't imagine my life without you.”

“Neither can I.” Len admitted. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“There's no escaping that.” Barry mused. “I should know. Love hurts because even when you're not trying to, sometimes you hurt your partner. I never meant to hurt you as the Flash but I did. When I canceled dates even after you spent so much time making everything perfect, when I kept secrets from you, when I would run off with no explanation. And don’t tell me it didn’t hurt because I know it did. I saw how things changed when you found out I was the Flash. You started telling me to go instead of begging me to stay. You would just let me talk about things you didn’t- or actually I suppose you did understand but I didn’t know that at the time. And you would just be there for me. You would buy me pizza late at night and just sit with me, or hold me when I was upset. And even after our fight, you still kept an eye on me. You still came running to my aid because you couldn’t bear to see me hurt. And when I was so scared I could barely see straight, the only place I wanted to be was by your side. This apartment was my safe-house because I knew you were here. You are my safe-house. But that doesn’t mean we won't hurt each other.”

Len was quiet for a little bit, mulling over Barry's words.

“So, did you write that down first, or was it off the top off your head?” Len asked.

Barry laughed. “I've been getting good at that since becoming a superhero. You never know when you need a nice good inspiring speech or a battlefield one.”

“It’s good to know those awful movies have at least been good for something.” Len said.

“Awful?” Barry swat Len's arm. “I'll have you know that those movies are classics.”

“They're so unrealistic.” Len countered.

“How can someone who is a supervillain dating a superhero think Bond movies are unrealistic?” Barry groaned.

“The science doesn’t match up!” Len said. “That small a watch can't hold that powerful a laser! It doesn’t make sense.”

“And my speed does?” Barry asked.

“This is Earth.” Len said. “Actual Earth is way more fucked up than fictional Earth.”

Barry laughed, the rumble of his chest against Len's back. “I suppose that’s true.”

A gentle silence followed. It wasn’t awkward, nor resenting, but a peaceful silence of two heartbeats beating as one. Len could feel Barry falling back asleep.

“You know, I meant what I said when I said I'd give up Captain Cold for you.” Len murmured quietly.

“And I meant what I said when I told you not to.” Barry replied, kissing Len's temple. “It’s more than just your job. You wouldn’t ask me to give up being the Flash. I won't ask the same.”

Len found Barry's hand and squeezed, running his thumb over Barry's hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Barry whispered.

Within the next two heartbeats, Len felt Barry fall back asleep. So Len carefully extracted himself from Barry, picked up the blanket and folded it, and then slid his hands under Barry's back and knees and slowly lifted. Once Barry was in his arms, Barry snuggled into his neck and sighed contentedly. It was easy to tuck him back under the covers and headed back into the kitchen. Len dumped out the now cold hot chocolate into the sink and started rinsing out the mugs. A whoosh came from behind him and he turned back. Barry stood with wide eyes, and then saw Len and relaxed.

“You didn’t come to bed.” Barry said, almost frantic. “You were- I thought-”

Len set the mugs down and opened his arms, which Barry quickly flashed into. Barry hugged him tightly and buried his head into the crook of Len's neck.

“Sh, it’s okay, I just wanted to clean up a bit, I'm staying right here, I'm not leaving.” Len whispered, placing a kiss into Barry's hair. “I promise I'm not going to leave in the middle of the night.”

“Don’t ever leave me.” Barry murmured.

“As long as it’s in my power, I won't.” Len promised.

“Come back to bed.” Barry nuzzled Len's neck.

“Let me finish cleaning up and I'll be right there.” Len said.

“But I'm comfy.” Barry whined.

Len glanced into the sink. The mugs weren't clean but they could stay out for the night. He could let that go for Barry.

“All right, I'm coming.” Len murmured. “But you're doing the dishes.”

Barry snorted. “Fine.”

Len leaned back slightly, which lifted Barry off the ground, though his toes dragged on the floor, and he carried him back to bed. They both climbed into bed, and Barry attached himself to Len like an octopus. Len ran his hands through Barry's hair, and Barry sighed softly.

“I love you.” Barry whispered.

“I love you too.” Len said.

“You know, if you started helping out the Flash instead of trying to kill him, I don’t think you'd have to change your name.” Barry mused.

Len hushed him. “Sh, go to sleep. We can think about that in the morning.”

“Sue me.” Barry said. “I want my boyfriend on my side for once.”

“Sleep well my love.   
Get all the rest your mind and body need.   
Don't wear yourself out with   
useless worries that no one needs.

Look to the stars my love and   
in the moon see my smile.   
Telling you I love and miss you,   
can't wait and am so excited   
for when I finally see you.

I'm sending all my warmth and   
love to wrap you up.   
Along with the biggest hugs   
and kisses for my only one   
and Angel true.

Rest your mind and heart with   
no fears or doubts,   
for I love you more than all   
the energy in the universe   
and it will never disperse.

You've been worth fighting for,   
you're a diamond and a precious jewel.   
I'm so blessed and lucky to have you,   
your loving heart and soul have   
given reason to a life so dull.

Sleep well my love and feel my arms   
around you as I lay down to rest myself.   
I love you so much and together it's   
all alright.   
I'll always be here for you.   
You're the one I give my all to.” (Michael P. McParland)

Barry's breath was soft and even, his face relaxed with a serene smile just barely gracing his lips. Poetry always seemed to knock Barry straight out. Len wondered if someone recited poetry in the field, would Barry fall asleep, or at least get drowsy. He’d have to try somehow. Whether they were on the same side or not.

Len stayed awake for a little while longer, just listening to Barry and enjoying the quiet moment between them. He really did have to think about what he was going to do. He hadn't yet posed the question to Lisa or Mick and in truth, he wasn’t sure how. Lisa and Mick were his family and he didn’t want to seem like he was turning his back on them. But eventually, exhaustion pulled his lids down and he ended up falling asleep once more.

The next day, Barry had left for work with a kiss and a promise to check in throughout the day. Mick arrived rather unexpectedly a little while later.

“You didn’t tell me you were dating the Flash.” Mick growled.

Len stared.

“Come on Lenny.” Mick snarled. “It’s not hard to figure out. You help the Flash after Piper kicks his ass and Flash nearly has a breakdown after you get hurt?”

Len swallowed hard. “How long have you known?”

“Few weeks now.” Mick said. “Didn’t want to say anything when you were hurt though. That’s a dick move if I ever saw one.”

Len nodded. “Should I have told you?”

That was the closest thing that either Mick or Len would get to an apology.

“Why didn’t you?” Mick asked gruffly.

Len crafted his words carefully. “I didn’t know at first. When I found out, I thought if he knew who I was, he’d leave. I couldn’t stomach that so I kept my mouth shut. And then I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to risk telling you and then him finding out.”

“You really care about him that much?” Mick asked.

Len nodded.

“You still gonna pull heists?” Mick asked.

“I don’t know yet.” Len admitted. “I don’t want to stop but I can't lose him.”

“Perhaps I can help with that.” A strange, British accented voice chirped up and then a flash of white turned the world black.

Len came back to consciousness gradually. He felt Mick at his side, but someone he didn’t recognize at his other. Len's brain jumped into high alert and snapped his eyes open. He was on a rooftop and he wanted his phone. He needed to call Barry. Someone else was talking but he tuned them out. Barry was soon to be worried about him. He then found someone walking towards them in a trench-coat and a saunter in his step that made Len's skin crawl.

“The name's Rip Hunter.” The Brit voiced. “I'm from East London. Oh, and the future.”

Maybe, just maybe Barry would understand why he wasn’t answering.

**Author's Note:**

> There ya go! It's finished. Good Lord, that was exhausting. But I loved every minute of it. And a quick shout-out to Crimson1 because they're awesome and I love them. Don't worry I'll finish When Tears Are In Your Eyes shortly just give me a little time. So I love you guys, had a great time, and drop me a line if you want! I love them. Bye all!


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